Lightning Memories
Dave Bishop
Kindly submitted by Sgt. D R Bishop who was based at RAF Binbrook from August 1986 to July 1988
Up One Minute, Down the Next
I have done it! After all these years of watching, looking and learning, I am now a freshly qualified Aerodrome Controller, I now control everything in the local circuit in the air and all movements on the ground within the airside, no more is there a parrot sitting on my shoulder, watching, observing, taking notes, correcting my silly errors. But I am jumping far too far ahead of myself here... Who in their right mind would do a thing like this, become an Airfield Controller - I know = ME!
The fateful day arrives and I am up in local and after a few hours my trainer slips away on some reason or another and the Training Officer comes up to local and plugs in next to me, this way he can hear EVERYTHING I say, plus he can see everything I do. So I get the assistant to get him a cup of coffee! “Alright then Bish” he asks? “Yeah fine”, I reply.
We get a few aircraft in the circuit and I do all the right things at the right time, as a bonus I say the right things too and I did not leave the threshold traffic lights on Red for too long – result! As we, sorry, they set up a practise emergency for me, behind my back; we have the real thing come in. An Emergency State 2, Lightning recovering with a bird strike! I tell the Assistant to hit the alarm bell to alert Station Ops, Fire Section and Medical Section and pass on the message. He informs Switchboard and they do the rest. I do the tannoy message; Emergency State 2, Emergency State 2, Emergency State 2, Lightning aircraft recovering with a Bird Strike, whatever squadron he was.
I instruct the only aircraft in the circuit of the recovery aircraft and he calls downwind land, good boy. Crash crews call in and I tell the assistant to acknowledge and get them to form up at the intersection. I do the same for Medic 1 and ‘Chute Recovery. The Director buzzes up and says that the aircraft is approximately 20 miles north and is recovering now for a straight in approach for Runway 21. I respond – Circuit clear and I get the assistant to buzz downstairs to the switchboard and then get the 8mm camera ready to film its approach and landing.
I get the call from the director via interlink on the comms frequency, Lightning 8 miles land, visual going stud 1. Double click on the box to acknowledge and simultaneously the aircraft calls me up.
Aircraft - Alpha 14 birdstrike, 8 miles straight in approach, land.
Me – A14 join straight in approach runway 21rh, QFE 996, circuit clear, surface wind 240degs 11kts, Crash crews standing by, call 5 miles with flaps and (landing) gear.
Aircraft – Wilco.
In between all of this, I ensure all actions have been completed and log entries have been made. My pin board is up to date. In local now we have the Duty Pilot, Air Traffic Supervisor, Deputy SATCO and OC Ops Wing, just what I need with the unit training officer sitting behind me!
Aircraft – A14 5 miles gear, flaps, land.
I do the following actions almost simultaneously, traffic lights to Red, visual check of the runway and it is clear.
Me – A14 clear land, surface wind 235/10kts, barrier up and overshoot rhag up.
I tell the assistant to go and film the recovery. I then do a combine call on the local frequency and then on the storno informing one and all. Pause, two, three, four...I call on storno for the Crash Crews, when the aircraft passes the intersection you are clear to enter the active and follow the aircraft down. Acknowledge?
All acknowledge and we wait and watch the aircraft.
Runway Caravan – Good ‘chute.
Me – Double click on the Hadley box.
Aircraft – A14 pulling onto the ORP as hydraulic pressure is indicating low.
Me – A14 roger, Crash crews are following you down and Squadron recovery is holding off Eastern side of 03 threshold.
Aircraft – Roger that.
This is feeling good, as all is going smoothly and then everyone leaves local and we are left alone. The Training Officer buzzes down to the Supervisor and asks for a relief so he can de-brief me. I know this is standard, so no worries as I feel I had it all covered, but he is remaining stony face about it all, the question still remains is he checking me out for my cat?
We grab a coffee and head into his office.... Okay David, how did you think it went? Arh, the classic approach to the start of a debrief, never one to admit my mistakes, I say it went okay.
“So did I”, he replies and finish’s off by saying that I did okay, all by the book and I could not fault you at all this time. You have your Local ticket!
Yeah baby, read it and weep I have done it!
He asks me a few ATC Local related questions and they are a piece of doddle to answer. Job done and it is a good ‘un. Outside for a ciggie and to calm down and I bump into the boss as he leaves the tower! The SATCO asks how it went. I reply fine thanks Sir, just got my local ticket!
Well done Bish, congratulations. We might make you a decent controller after all. He says with a smile on his face. I have known the SATCO since I was a Leading Aircraftsman and he was a Pilot Officer back in the mists of time... Great bloke, I always had a great respect for him.
Finally, at last, I have done it! I have achieved my overall RAF objective. I am an Airfield Controller, yes I am baby. Oh yes, going to have a few beers tonight. Actually, no I am not, as more than likely I will be the Airfield controller tomorrow which means up early for the airfield inspection. Back into the Approach room and a few controllers congratulate me, and two grudgingly say so. I know those two! Anyway, the supervisor comes over to me shakes me by the hand as says, Get on talkdown you have a pairs approach, two tornadoes and you are in local all tomorrow and the airfield inspection is yours. Oh, by the way, well done, consolidation is the name of the game now, so don’t let standards slip!
I don’t care what he says, I am an Airfield Controller!
The fateful day arrives and I am up in local and after a few hours my trainer slips away on some reason or another and the Training Officer comes up to local and plugs in next to me, this way he can hear EVERYTHING I say, plus he can see everything I do. So I get the assistant to get him a cup of coffee! “Alright then Bish” he asks? “Yeah fine”, I reply.
We get a few aircraft in the circuit and I do all the right things at the right time, as a bonus I say the right things too and I did not leave the threshold traffic lights on Red for too long – result! As we, sorry, they set up a practise emergency for me, behind my back; we have the real thing come in. An Emergency State 2, Lightning recovering with a bird strike! I tell the Assistant to hit the alarm bell to alert Station Ops, Fire Section and Medical Section and pass on the message. He informs Switchboard and they do the rest. I do the tannoy message; Emergency State 2, Emergency State 2, Emergency State 2, Lightning aircraft recovering with a Bird Strike, whatever squadron he was.
I instruct the only aircraft in the circuit of the recovery aircraft and he calls downwind land, good boy. Crash crews call in and I tell the assistant to acknowledge and get them to form up at the intersection. I do the same for Medic 1 and ‘Chute Recovery. The Director buzzes up and says that the aircraft is approximately 20 miles north and is recovering now for a straight in approach for Runway 21. I respond – Circuit clear and I get the assistant to buzz downstairs to the switchboard and then get the 8mm camera ready to film its approach and landing.
I get the call from the director via interlink on the comms frequency, Lightning 8 miles land, visual going stud 1. Double click on the box to acknowledge and simultaneously the aircraft calls me up.
Aircraft - Alpha 14 birdstrike, 8 miles straight in approach, land.
Me – A14 join straight in approach runway 21rh, QFE 996, circuit clear, surface wind 240degs 11kts, Crash crews standing by, call 5 miles with flaps and (landing) gear.
Aircraft – Wilco.
In between all of this, I ensure all actions have been completed and log entries have been made. My pin board is up to date. In local now we have the Duty Pilot, Air Traffic Supervisor, Deputy SATCO and OC Ops Wing, just what I need with the unit training officer sitting behind me!
Aircraft – A14 5 miles gear, flaps, land.
I do the following actions almost simultaneously, traffic lights to Red, visual check of the runway and it is clear.
Me – A14 clear land, surface wind 235/10kts, barrier up and overshoot rhag up.
I tell the assistant to go and film the recovery. I then do a combine call on the local frequency and then on the storno informing one and all. Pause, two, three, four...I call on storno for the Crash Crews, when the aircraft passes the intersection you are clear to enter the active and follow the aircraft down. Acknowledge?
All acknowledge and we wait and watch the aircraft.
Runway Caravan – Good ‘chute.
Me – Double click on the Hadley box.
Aircraft – A14 pulling onto the ORP as hydraulic pressure is indicating low.
Me – A14 roger, Crash crews are following you down and Squadron recovery is holding off Eastern side of 03 threshold.
Aircraft – Roger that.
This is feeling good, as all is going smoothly and then everyone leaves local and we are left alone. The Training Officer buzzes down to the Supervisor and asks for a relief so he can de-brief me. I know this is standard, so no worries as I feel I had it all covered, but he is remaining stony face about it all, the question still remains is he checking me out for my cat?
We grab a coffee and head into his office.... Okay David, how did you think it went? Arh, the classic approach to the start of a debrief, never one to admit my mistakes, I say it went okay.
“So did I”, he replies and finish’s off by saying that I did okay, all by the book and I could not fault you at all this time. You have your Local ticket!
Yeah baby, read it and weep I have done it!
He asks me a few ATC Local related questions and they are a piece of doddle to answer. Job done and it is a good ‘un. Outside for a ciggie and to calm down and I bump into the boss as he leaves the tower! The SATCO asks how it went. I reply fine thanks Sir, just got my local ticket!
Well done Bish, congratulations. We might make you a decent controller after all. He says with a smile on his face. I have known the SATCO since I was a Leading Aircraftsman and he was a Pilot Officer back in the mists of time... Great bloke, I always had a great respect for him.
Finally, at last, I have done it! I have achieved my overall RAF objective. I am an Airfield Controller, yes I am baby. Oh yes, going to have a few beers tonight. Actually, no I am not, as more than likely I will be the Airfield controller tomorrow which means up early for the airfield inspection. Back into the Approach room and a few controllers congratulate me, and two grudgingly say so. I know those two! Anyway, the supervisor comes over to me shakes me by the hand as says, Get on talkdown you have a pairs approach, two tornadoes and you are in local all tomorrow and the airfield inspection is yours. Oh, by the way, well done, consolidation is the name of the game now, so don’t let standards slip!
I don’t care what he says, I am an Airfield Controller!
I pick up the Tonka’s at 15 miles well left of centreline, going to take some work to get those in, comms to director, multiple contacts, left of centreline, 15 miles, Contact talkdown 268.45.
I tell you one thing, talking down other aircraft is sooooo easy compared to Lightning’s, anyway calls are still made at 10 and 5 miles, as opposed to 8 and 3 miles on other airfields. Down the slope they go and at a quarter of a mile I see them overshooting and from me it’s, Tonka 10/11 I see you are overshooting, contact Binbrook Tower on 311.40. Radar service terminated.
And the rest of the afternoon I spend sitting on my arse in the approach room, with the odd trip up to local. Come three o’clock we are relieved by the night shift and I float over to the Mess.
That evening after Dinner the controllers who live in during the week, brought me a drinkie to celebrate, this was probably the best lager I had drunk.... Being a good conscientious sort of a chap, I retired early (as you do) as tomorrow was my big day and I did not want to screw it up.
Time to check my mail and a nice one awaits my attention… My soon to be (ex) wife, reading the letter reminds me of an old Taupin/John song, the last few lines of Tonight, ‘Just let the curtains close in silence, Tonight, Why not approach with less defiance, The man who'd love to see you smile
Who'd love to see you smile tonight’? It was not to be; statistically I wonder how many marriages were ruined by the RAF? Tonight of all nights, I wanted to share this moment, tell my kids that their Dad has finally done it, he is an Aerodrome Controller, I have achieved my main objective since I became an Assistant Air Traffic Controller and seeing an Airfield Controller in action back at Lossiemouth in 1974, but all your mother can do is moan over the divorce papers and other bits and pieces.
Walking out to the outer foyer, armed with some (a few) 10p pieces, I head for the left hand side GPO telephone and phone the only one who knew what I was doing – Beverley. At least she would understand and thankfully she does, I mention I am going up to Scotland next month as my son will have just started junior school, and I have a few things to deal with over my divorce and it would be so nice to see and talk to you afterwards. As ever I am invited over to stay, Beverley you're the lifeline that I cling to when I feel like giving in. When the dreams that I rely on, start to wear a little thin, then I need you more than ever, and I want you till the end. Nice one Osborne.
I arrive at the tower nice and early, bloody keen me! And off I went for my airfield inspection. Actually I did all my checks in local first, starting off by switching all the airfield lights on, checking to see if the barriers were up and the RHAG team were out on the airfield, I then had an assistant to report up tower to answer my calls on storno, switch off and on the traffic lights and then I drove away. It was easy the longest airfield inspection I have ever done, making notes of this and that, what airfield lights are not working. Funny how you change your working skills and habits when you sign and are responsible for the airfield!
But for me in some respects because of my CAT, things do not change much…
Anyway, this weekend I have another er um engagement; I am really breaking all the rules and taking a female officer out for dinner. I have done some stupid things in my short life but this really is pushing my luck, carrying on an affair with a beautiful female officer. What started out as a way of thank you for all the help and advice she gave me on a particular gritty little problem, has progressed to this, just what were you thinking off?
To have a bit of peace and somewhere to eat and relax without constantly looking over our shoulders was a blessing, my bestest buddy suggested a rather nice hotel/restaurant not far from Horncastle. Doing a nice little de-tour to pick her up from the Swinhope road and then doubling back down the B1203 to head south and our little rendezvous. Giggling like a little schoolgirl, I pull over and put her massive coat in the boot along with my full length leather coat. I am positive years later it was used for some Scottish Widows advert! We are soon on the move again and missing all the main roads southbound to Horncastle way.
A short time later we have arrived at the hotel and booked in, I say booked in; we just informed the receptionist that we have arrived for the restaurant – not knowing where in the bloody hell the restaurant is! Lovely olde worlde hotel this, full marks to my techie bestest mate for suggesting this place, never knew techies had style, least good taste. Let’s hope the food is up to the standard of the décor? Looking at the menu, whilst having an aperitif I am thinking yes… Well, that is one drink down and I reckon two and a half hours for dinner I can/could risk two glasses of wine with food.
Having been led through to the dining room and what a dining room! We have been transported back in time. I am so pleased I put on a shirt and tie… Argh the food was just excellent, the best I have eaten in this area. My date excuses herself and I am left having a ciggie and sipping my wine, I make a mental note to thank my bestest buddy for recommending this place. Cigarette out and my dangerous date for the evening, sits back at the table and places gently a hotel room key on the table. “Well as you didn’t do it. I did it!”
For once I was speechless, this is a move I did not expect and moving this liaison to an area I never thought would happen, probably why she is an officer and I am only a mere Senior Non Commissioned Officer… I call the waiter over and order another bottle of wine. She whispers in my ear, “You can pay for the food, as I have paid for the room!”
Needless to say, the rest of dinner appeared to pass rather quickly… When we are alone in our room, she blindfolded me. It was quite an unusual experience being blindfolded by a sexy woman.
Monday arrived all too quickly and around 3.30 pm, I am relieved in local and told to report to the SATCO’s office. Quickly thinking have I done anything wrong and nothing springs to mind, maybe the boss has a nice little job for me. Knocking on the door and he calls out – ENTER, and enter I do. In front of me is my lovely female officer, oh bugger! My face drops as I approach the bosses table. Sit down Sergeant. I sit on the only chair next to my er um what is now lover.
The SATCO kicks it all off - Right you two, would you like to explain your actions Saturday night for me please? Do not pretend I do not know, as I actually saw the both of you walking into so and so hotel! I explained that the female officer has been assisting and helping me with a not very nice problem that I have been dealing with over these past few months, which you are also aware off. As a way of thanks for all the help over those past few months, I invited her out to dinner. I am starting to sweat now and keeping my voice under control as this could lead to some serious repercussions. The SATCO just looks at me and then asks her the same question and basically she says the same as I had said.
The boss then says is that all? I could tell he was offering a lifeline and I reckon he knows more than he is letting on.
“Sir, may I have a few minutes alone with Fg. Off…. Please?” I ask
“Right you have five minutes and I am counting NOW!” As he leaves his office.
I say, he knows more than he is letting on and she replies, it would seem so. I explain, that I have known him for years and the best thing is to tell the truth and come clean. But, this would mean the end of our relationship, but I think he just might be more lenient if we come clean. She unfortunately agrees with me.
The SATCO comes back into his office and sits down and beckons us to sit down. Before I could get a word in, she comes straight out with it, the whole bloody lot – everything! I did get some words in, saying it was I who started it. Then the SATCO says, “And it is me who is going to finish it!”
“Look, I only have less than a year left in service and my wife is an ex airwoman, I understand these things do happen, but you know the rules and you know what I want from you or do I have to make this official. The choice is yours – you have ten minutes starting from now”.
For me the decision was easy and for Fg. Off… it was the same. We had a good run and last Saturday was something exceptional and what a way to finish. We kissed and called it a day, from this point on; we will be the professionals we are supposed to be!
In walks the boss, spot on time and asks us our decision and we inform him. I then ask, how did you really find out sir? “Easy Bish, I was in the car park and I saw you walk in and turn left, then my wife and I walked in and turned right directly to the dining room. I was surprised you never saw us in the corner? When I saw Fg. Off… walk in later with what I recognised as a hotel room key, I thought what’s going on here? So having a talk over with Mrs HJ, with what is happening in front of our eyes, she reminded me of us all those years ago. When we left the dining room, I checked with reception, which one booked in, you or her and I saw her name and here we are now discussing it”.
“So, I am pleased that you have come to a sensible decision to call it a day and you can rest assured, that what has been discussed in this room will stay in this room. Unless of course you are seen again together, then I will come down on you both like a ton of bricks. If anyone asks what you have been doing in my office, it is due to that problem you had at Leuchars and your redress of complaint against them”.
Well, you know me and I continued to see my Officer friend, at least once a week, but always on a professional basis, but we couldn’t help giving each other that look when we met. She was posted away near the end of 1987 and the SATCO was as good to his word and never mentioned the episode ever again. What became of her? That I never did find out.
Days, nights, months come and go and I alternate between talkdown and tower, as I am to the bottom of the training list as we have had a couple of officers posted in and they always get on radar before us SNCO’s, but I don’t care. I would quite happily sit in local until I am posted!
A nice sunny March morning dawns and I have just come in from my airfield inspection and up to the Met Office I go for early brief. Present are the Duty Pilot, a couple of jockeys including this year’s display pilot who I believe was Flt. Lt Barry Lennon of 5 Sqn, ATC Supervisor, OC Ops Wing (to supervise the display), Duty Engineering Officer and the Met Office Staff.
All done and up to local I go, headset in hand to assume the position, sitting on my arse and lording over all that I survey. Up pops the duty pilot and says good morning to all and I see (hear) a lightning start up. Quick look out of the window and it is only just the one; liney’s all over the place, always good seeing a Lightning do a display, even though the base level for this today is 10,000ft!
While this is all happening, my best mate who is a SNCO engine techie on 11 Squadron calls me up on the landline and informs me he will be towing an aircraft over to the detuners for an engine run. I inform him to have a storno radio with him at all times, observe the traffic lights and call me when he is about to cross and when he is clear of the 03 threshold and about to start ground runs at the detuner. Above all else, keep in radio contact at all times. He knows I am getting fairly pee’d off with techies not using the radio properly!
Aircraft – Display 01, Start up.
Me – D01, clear start, outside air temp +15c, OFE 1013
Aircraft, 01.
Aircraft Display 01 taxi.
Me – Display 01, taxi for 21 right hand, QFE 1013
Aircraft – 01
I then contact the Approach Controller, Approach, Tower Display 01 taxis for Runway 21rh.
Approach acknowledges my call, this time he does not give me departure information, as we know he will be displaying in the airfield overhead. His job is to ensure our airfield overhead and a radius of 5 nautical miles is clear of transit traffic.
Aircraft – 01 take off
Me – 01 Line up.
Traffic lights to red, a quick check that the overshoot barrier is up and the undershoot arrester cable is down and the no vehicles are on the runway. Followed by a quick call on the intercom to approach, that 01 is lining up.
Me – 01 take off, surface wind 225/08kts, Circuit clear.
Aircraft –01 rolling.
The roar increases as 01 goes reheat and legs it down the runway, aircraft nose goes up 30 degrees and the aircraft lifts off the runway. Pilot selects gear up and the aircraft sinks a little before it starts to rise and with what little aerodynamic qualities the flying brick of a Lightning has, it catches the wind and it goes almost vertical as it climbs.
Aircraft – 01 to Approach, stud 3.
Me – 01 Roger.
I then put the traffic lights to green and 01’s ‘pin’ is put in the airborne slot and my job is done. Feet back and I take it easy, a quick look as to when the next aircraft is due and that is not for over half an hour. Duty Pilot is on the phone to someone, OC Ops has disappeared and my assistant this morning is the shift corporal. Aircraft is out of sight and not much else I can do, until I hear or get a call that he is recovering.
While this is all happening, my best mate calls me up and informs me he will he about to start the engine runs at the detuners. I acknowledge the call.
The assistant takes a walk to the window that overlooks the pan and looks up with the binoculars to see if he can see 01 and he says fairly nonchalantly, “Hey Sarge, I can see the Lightning, bloody hell and a parachute too”! Getting out of my chair and I bound over the various chairs like Superman leaping over tall buildings in a single bounce, he gives me the bins, points to the approximate direction and low and behold, one times parachute with a body dangling from it and one times lightning aircraft below him fluttering down like a leaf in autumn. I give the duty pilot a shout that 01 has banged out!
Eff me I think to myself, okay what to do? And my training kicks in. Okay, we are going to have an aircraft crash and it looks like it may happen off the airfield so it is an Emergency State 3, not a State 1. I get the assistant to initiate an Emergency State 3, I have to get the crash crews and medic 1 out on the airfield, tell them to go to the runway intersection with the lazy runway and await further instructions. I then do a quick call to the supervisor informing him of what is going on! The duty pilot is doing his own thing, but I pay no attention to him at this stage.
Crash combine call mobile and I advise the Crash Crew Commander of the positions of the kite and the pilot and I had over tactical responsibility to him as he knows what to do to deal with the impending crash.
I look up at the aircraft and try and judge its track, s.h.i.t. It is heading towards the detuner, I call out over the storno to the ground crew on the detuners, to get the hell out but no reply. Bugger, I call again, to hell with RT phraseology, my best mate and his crew are out there! “Get the hell out of there mate!” Tower, what’s up? “Bloody hell mate, look up and west and get the hell out of there!” I see him, wave his hands about and then the landrover and a couple of guys leg it to safety on the peri-track.
The Lightning has now taken a more nose down angle of attack and it looks like the detuner is going to be written off, along with another Lightning! All the crash crews have called in and moving over to the intersection which is a good position to be, as the detuner is about 800 yards further west. Down in comes, never seen a real nose in crash before and it hits the deck! Is that it..... Just a whomph noise and then comes the fireball! I was really disappointed at the lack of noise, the only time I have ever been disappointed by a Lightning!
Crash One – Tower.
Tower, pass your message.
Crash One, for I/C, the crash is just outside the boundary and the pilot is overhead the detuner now, about 300ft up, you are clear to cross the active.
Roger Tower....
Then the crash crews move off and deal with what they have to deal with. One thing is for sure, the day crew will have something to talk about for months...
I then do something I have always wanted to do; I hit the Crash Alarm for real! Smack bang in the middle of Morning Prayers, all the Station Executives will be present at Morning Prayers and I wish I could be a fly on the wall.
Then I make the Tannoy message:
Crash, Crash, Crash. A Lightning aircraft has crashed in Position D6 just off the airfield; the pilot has ejected, I say again, Crash, Crash, Crash. A Lightning aircraft has crashed in Position D6, the pilot has ejected.
Crash alarm is then switched off and all you can hear is footsteps, rather loud footsteps coming up to Local....
As I look up again, I see the pilot is heading and descending in a nice direction towards the crash site. Thanks mainly to the wind, as he drifts down the up current from the explosion catches his parachute, lifts him up a little and takes him well clear of the site. The crash vehicles are thundering down to the detuners and smash through the airfield boundary fence. Give those guys an inch and no fence or gate is safe!
Crash 1 and Medic 1 are on the peri track watching Flt. Lt Lennon float down, they stop and a couple of firemen come out of Crash 1 and go to the back of Medic 1 and take out a stretcher. As they look up, Flt. Lt Lennon is slowly coming down to make contact with the ground, the secondary way. As his primary means of transport is now a smoking hulk on the other side of the airfield boundary fence.
As soon as his feet hit the deck, one of the firemen hits his parachute QRF and pushes him onto the waiting stretcher and they whisk him up. I swear his feet must have touched the ground for a maximum of 5 seconds – tops! And into the back of Medic 1 he goes. Training does pay off...
Tower - Crash 4.
Crash 4 mobile crash site.
Crash 4 Tower, expedite to crash site, clear across the active, call clear.
Tower – Crash 4 wilco.
The farmer is going to love this; it will make his year with the compensation he is going to get now and in the future...
I tell the assistant to let switchboard know, we are Airfield State Black. As all the crash crews are busy dealing with the crash. I call through to the Director and tell him the same.
The Supervisor informs me that I am to be relieved, no reason stated as to why, just I am to be relieved. Sodden little shitehawk that he is..... My relief plugs in and automatically extracts the urine out of me. “Bloody hell Bish, you have only been in local 5 minutes and you have a crash! Took me three years to have one, you jammy git”.
I explain to him what’s gone on and the actions I have taken and I ask, have I forgotten anything? No mate, came the reply, I taught you well.
So why am I being relieved then? Simple he says, you have a report to make out. Has to be done as soon as possible, so you do not forget anything - numbskull! What is all this on the desk?
I explain it’s all my notes for the log book. The Flight Sergeant says, okay write them first on a piece of paper, double check them on the desk and then fill in the log book. Cheers Mate. I start to fill in the log and the duty pilot says, “Well nothing for me to do now”! And goes back to the squadron. Feeling that things didn’t quite go quite to plan, and the end result of this display was one Lightning aircraft deposited back on the ground in a smoking hole near the detuners, unless of course this was the display?
After I filled the log book, I officially hand over the airfield and sign off the log book and I decide to have a crafty cig on the balcony before going downstairs. Needless to say I was not alone, it would appear half of air traffic were doing the same thing and getting a good view of the crash site.
Sitting down, I went through the actions I have done. Did I do it properly? Did I miss out on anything? Well, my relief said I did it by the book due to my training received from him, with that experience in the bag, I also made all the right calls. I now no longer lack experience in airfield crashes, he laughed! Sod off mate...
Next stop the SATCO’s office for a debrief on the mornings crash, not only was the SATCO in but the Deputy SATCO too. They asked me all sorts of questions, making notes and then came the crunch questions. Why did you initially call a State 3 and not a State 1? Why did you only call a Crash and not a State 1 on the tannoy? And why did you put the airfield State Black?
Oh shitonabikeinspring, I am for it! I explained that I did not call a State 1 as that implies the aircraft will or has crashed on the airfield and it did not. It crashed off the airfield Sir. I called a State 3 initially as I wanted the Crash Crews out on the airfield and in position to react immediately. I put the airfield State Black Sir, as all the Crash Crews including the Medics were dealing with the crash site and pilot. The fire tenders would be empty of water and foam and it takes four hours to replenish all the fire vehicles and we would be in not fit state to accept any diversions, as we could or would not be able to maintain the facility we are listed for! That is why I did it Sirs....
They looked at each other and burst into laughter! The little buggers, I ask, Is this a wind up or what? No it is not, they are valid questions we asked and we wanted to know your thought process behind your decisions. I was then told to set it all down and write all the events of the morning down on the official document. I then said I have a confession to make, they looked at me, yes go on... Sir, as you will be pulling the storno tape, my er um RT phraseology on the storno, prior to the crash was not standard. I explained why and with a big smile on their collective faces they let me off considering the circumstances and the obvious remarks that will be made of me later in the Mess. The SATCO also commented on my timeliness of setting off the crash alarm during morning prayers, impeccable as always!
Later on when we walked over to the Mess for lunch a few comments were made, about what caused the crash, but I didn’t know, I’m an Air Trafficker not an engineer. The best was later, walking into the dining room a collective cheer went up, aimed at my direction. Hey Bish, one down thirty four to go mate!
I bowed to my fellow SNCO’s and I muttered something along the lines of long walks of short piers and discussing the marital status of their collective mothers.
I don’t care as I am an Airfield Controller, or is that an Aerodrome Controller, or a Local Controller?
I tell you one thing, talking down other aircraft is sooooo easy compared to Lightning’s, anyway calls are still made at 10 and 5 miles, as opposed to 8 and 3 miles on other airfields. Down the slope they go and at a quarter of a mile I see them overshooting and from me it’s, Tonka 10/11 I see you are overshooting, contact Binbrook Tower on 311.40. Radar service terminated.
And the rest of the afternoon I spend sitting on my arse in the approach room, with the odd trip up to local. Come three o’clock we are relieved by the night shift and I float over to the Mess.
That evening after Dinner the controllers who live in during the week, brought me a drinkie to celebrate, this was probably the best lager I had drunk.... Being a good conscientious sort of a chap, I retired early (as you do) as tomorrow was my big day and I did not want to screw it up.
Time to check my mail and a nice one awaits my attention… My soon to be (ex) wife, reading the letter reminds me of an old Taupin/John song, the last few lines of Tonight, ‘Just let the curtains close in silence, Tonight, Why not approach with less defiance, The man who'd love to see you smile
Who'd love to see you smile tonight’? It was not to be; statistically I wonder how many marriages were ruined by the RAF? Tonight of all nights, I wanted to share this moment, tell my kids that their Dad has finally done it, he is an Aerodrome Controller, I have achieved my main objective since I became an Assistant Air Traffic Controller and seeing an Airfield Controller in action back at Lossiemouth in 1974, but all your mother can do is moan over the divorce papers and other bits and pieces.
Walking out to the outer foyer, armed with some (a few) 10p pieces, I head for the left hand side GPO telephone and phone the only one who knew what I was doing – Beverley. At least she would understand and thankfully she does, I mention I am going up to Scotland next month as my son will have just started junior school, and I have a few things to deal with over my divorce and it would be so nice to see and talk to you afterwards. As ever I am invited over to stay, Beverley you're the lifeline that I cling to when I feel like giving in. When the dreams that I rely on, start to wear a little thin, then I need you more than ever, and I want you till the end. Nice one Osborne.
I arrive at the tower nice and early, bloody keen me! And off I went for my airfield inspection. Actually I did all my checks in local first, starting off by switching all the airfield lights on, checking to see if the barriers were up and the RHAG team were out on the airfield, I then had an assistant to report up tower to answer my calls on storno, switch off and on the traffic lights and then I drove away. It was easy the longest airfield inspection I have ever done, making notes of this and that, what airfield lights are not working. Funny how you change your working skills and habits when you sign and are responsible for the airfield!
But for me in some respects because of my CAT, things do not change much…
Anyway, this weekend I have another er um engagement; I am really breaking all the rules and taking a female officer out for dinner. I have done some stupid things in my short life but this really is pushing my luck, carrying on an affair with a beautiful female officer. What started out as a way of thank you for all the help and advice she gave me on a particular gritty little problem, has progressed to this, just what were you thinking off?
To have a bit of peace and somewhere to eat and relax without constantly looking over our shoulders was a blessing, my bestest buddy suggested a rather nice hotel/restaurant not far from Horncastle. Doing a nice little de-tour to pick her up from the Swinhope road and then doubling back down the B1203 to head south and our little rendezvous. Giggling like a little schoolgirl, I pull over and put her massive coat in the boot along with my full length leather coat. I am positive years later it was used for some Scottish Widows advert! We are soon on the move again and missing all the main roads southbound to Horncastle way.
A short time later we have arrived at the hotel and booked in, I say booked in; we just informed the receptionist that we have arrived for the restaurant – not knowing where in the bloody hell the restaurant is! Lovely olde worlde hotel this, full marks to my techie bestest mate for suggesting this place, never knew techies had style, least good taste. Let’s hope the food is up to the standard of the décor? Looking at the menu, whilst having an aperitif I am thinking yes… Well, that is one drink down and I reckon two and a half hours for dinner I can/could risk two glasses of wine with food.
Having been led through to the dining room and what a dining room! We have been transported back in time. I am so pleased I put on a shirt and tie… Argh the food was just excellent, the best I have eaten in this area. My date excuses herself and I am left having a ciggie and sipping my wine, I make a mental note to thank my bestest buddy for recommending this place. Cigarette out and my dangerous date for the evening, sits back at the table and places gently a hotel room key on the table. “Well as you didn’t do it. I did it!”
For once I was speechless, this is a move I did not expect and moving this liaison to an area I never thought would happen, probably why she is an officer and I am only a mere Senior Non Commissioned Officer… I call the waiter over and order another bottle of wine. She whispers in my ear, “You can pay for the food, as I have paid for the room!”
Needless to say, the rest of dinner appeared to pass rather quickly… When we are alone in our room, she blindfolded me. It was quite an unusual experience being blindfolded by a sexy woman.
Monday arrived all too quickly and around 3.30 pm, I am relieved in local and told to report to the SATCO’s office. Quickly thinking have I done anything wrong and nothing springs to mind, maybe the boss has a nice little job for me. Knocking on the door and he calls out – ENTER, and enter I do. In front of me is my lovely female officer, oh bugger! My face drops as I approach the bosses table. Sit down Sergeant. I sit on the only chair next to my er um what is now lover.
The SATCO kicks it all off - Right you two, would you like to explain your actions Saturday night for me please? Do not pretend I do not know, as I actually saw the both of you walking into so and so hotel! I explained that the female officer has been assisting and helping me with a not very nice problem that I have been dealing with over these past few months, which you are also aware off. As a way of thanks for all the help over those past few months, I invited her out to dinner. I am starting to sweat now and keeping my voice under control as this could lead to some serious repercussions. The SATCO just looks at me and then asks her the same question and basically she says the same as I had said.
The boss then says is that all? I could tell he was offering a lifeline and I reckon he knows more than he is letting on.
“Sir, may I have a few minutes alone with Fg. Off…. Please?” I ask
“Right you have five minutes and I am counting NOW!” As he leaves his office.
I say, he knows more than he is letting on and she replies, it would seem so. I explain, that I have known him for years and the best thing is to tell the truth and come clean. But, this would mean the end of our relationship, but I think he just might be more lenient if we come clean. She unfortunately agrees with me.
The SATCO comes back into his office and sits down and beckons us to sit down. Before I could get a word in, she comes straight out with it, the whole bloody lot – everything! I did get some words in, saying it was I who started it. Then the SATCO says, “And it is me who is going to finish it!”
“Look, I only have less than a year left in service and my wife is an ex airwoman, I understand these things do happen, but you know the rules and you know what I want from you or do I have to make this official. The choice is yours – you have ten minutes starting from now”.
For me the decision was easy and for Fg. Off… it was the same. We had a good run and last Saturday was something exceptional and what a way to finish. We kissed and called it a day, from this point on; we will be the professionals we are supposed to be!
In walks the boss, spot on time and asks us our decision and we inform him. I then ask, how did you really find out sir? “Easy Bish, I was in the car park and I saw you walk in and turn left, then my wife and I walked in and turned right directly to the dining room. I was surprised you never saw us in the corner? When I saw Fg. Off… walk in later with what I recognised as a hotel room key, I thought what’s going on here? So having a talk over with Mrs HJ, with what is happening in front of our eyes, she reminded me of us all those years ago. When we left the dining room, I checked with reception, which one booked in, you or her and I saw her name and here we are now discussing it”.
“So, I am pleased that you have come to a sensible decision to call it a day and you can rest assured, that what has been discussed in this room will stay in this room. Unless of course you are seen again together, then I will come down on you both like a ton of bricks. If anyone asks what you have been doing in my office, it is due to that problem you had at Leuchars and your redress of complaint against them”.
Well, you know me and I continued to see my Officer friend, at least once a week, but always on a professional basis, but we couldn’t help giving each other that look when we met. She was posted away near the end of 1987 and the SATCO was as good to his word and never mentioned the episode ever again. What became of her? That I never did find out.
Days, nights, months come and go and I alternate between talkdown and tower, as I am to the bottom of the training list as we have had a couple of officers posted in and they always get on radar before us SNCO’s, but I don’t care. I would quite happily sit in local until I am posted!
A nice sunny March morning dawns and I have just come in from my airfield inspection and up to the Met Office I go for early brief. Present are the Duty Pilot, a couple of jockeys including this year’s display pilot who I believe was Flt. Lt Barry Lennon of 5 Sqn, ATC Supervisor, OC Ops Wing (to supervise the display), Duty Engineering Officer and the Met Office Staff.
All done and up to local I go, headset in hand to assume the position, sitting on my arse and lording over all that I survey. Up pops the duty pilot and says good morning to all and I see (hear) a lightning start up. Quick look out of the window and it is only just the one; liney’s all over the place, always good seeing a Lightning do a display, even though the base level for this today is 10,000ft!
While this is all happening, my best mate who is a SNCO engine techie on 11 Squadron calls me up on the landline and informs me he will be towing an aircraft over to the detuners for an engine run. I inform him to have a storno radio with him at all times, observe the traffic lights and call me when he is about to cross and when he is clear of the 03 threshold and about to start ground runs at the detuner. Above all else, keep in radio contact at all times. He knows I am getting fairly pee’d off with techies not using the radio properly!
Aircraft – Display 01, Start up.
Me – D01, clear start, outside air temp +15c, OFE 1013
Aircraft, 01.
Aircraft Display 01 taxi.
Me – Display 01, taxi for 21 right hand, QFE 1013
Aircraft – 01
I then contact the Approach Controller, Approach, Tower Display 01 taxis for Runway 21rh.
Approach acknowledges my call, this time he does not give me departure information, as we know he will be displaying in the airfield overhead. His job is to ensure our airfield overhead and a radius of 5 nautical miles is clear of transit traffic.
Aircraft – 01 take off
Me – 01 Line up.
Traffic lights to red, a quick check that the overshoot barrier is up and the undershoot arrester cable is down and the no vehicles are on the runway. Followed by a quick call on the intercom to approach, that 01 is lining up.
Me – 01 take off, surface wind 225/08kts, Circuit clear.
Aircraft –01 rolling.
The roar increases as 01 goes reheat and legs it down the runway, aircraft nose goes up 30 degrees and the aircraft lifts off the runway. Pilot selects gear up and the aircraft sinks a little before it starts to rise and with what little aerodynamic qualities the flying brick of a Lightning has, it catches the wind and it goes almost vertical as it climbs.
Aircraft – 01 to Approach, stud 3.
Me – 01 Roger.
I then put the traffic lights to green and 01’s ‘pin’ is put in the airborne slot and my job is done. Feet back and I take it easy, a quick look as to when the next aircraft is due and that is not for over half an hour. Duty Pilot is on the phone to someone, OC Ops has disappeared and my assistant this morning is the shift corporal. Aircraft is out of sight and not much else I can do, until I hear or get a call that he is recovering.
While this is all happening, my best mate calls me up and informs me he will he about to start the engine runs at the detuners. I acknowledge the call.
The assistant takes a walk to the window that overlooks the pan and looks up with the binoculars to see if he can see 01 and he says fairly nonchalantly, “Hey Sarge, I can see the Lightning, bloody hell and a parachute too”! Getting out of my chair and I bound over the various chairs like Superman leaping over tall buildings in a single bounce, he gives me the bins, points to the approximate direction and low and behold, one times parachute with a body dangling from it and one times lightning aircraft below him fluttering down like a leaf in autumn. I give the duty pilot a shout that 01 has banged out!
Eff me I think to myself, okay what to do? And my training kicks in. Okay, we are going to have an aircraft crash and it looks like it may happen off the airfield so it is an Emergency State 3, not a State 1. I get the assistant to initiate an Emergency State 3, I have to get the crash crews and medic 1 out on the airfield, tell them to go to the runway intersection with the lazy runway and await further instructions. I then do a quick call to the supervisor informing him of what is going on! The duty pilot is doing his own thing, but I pay no attention to him at this stage.
Crash combine call mobile and I advise the Crash Crew Commander of the positions of the kite and the pilot and I had over tactical responsibility to him as he knows what to do to deal with the impending crash.
I look up at the aircraft and try and judge its track, s.h.i.t. It is heading towards the detuner, I call out over the storno to the ground crew on the detuners, to get the hell out but no reply. Bugger, I call again, to hell with RT phraseology, my best mate and his crew are out there! “Get the hell out of there mate!” Tower, what’s up? “Bloody hell mate, look up and west and get the hell out of there!” I see him, wave his hands about and then the landrover and a couple of guys leg it to safety on the peri-track.
The Lightning has now taken a more nose down angle of attack and it looks like the detuner is going to be written off, along with another Lightning! All the crash crews have called in and moving over to the intersection which is a good position to be, as the detuner is about 800 yards further west. Down in comes, never seen a real nose in crash before and it hits the deck! Is that it..... Just a whomph noise and then comes the fireball! I was really disappointed at the lack of noise, the only time I have ever been disappointed by a Lightning!
Crash One – Tower.
Tower, pass your message.
Crash One, for I/C, the crash is just outside the boundary and the pilot is overhead the detuner now, about 300ft up, you are clear to cross the active.
Roger Tower....
Then the crash crews move off and deal with what they have to deal with. One thing is for sure, the day crew will have something to talk about for months...
I then do something I have always wanted to do; I hit the Crash Alarm for real! Smack bang in the middle of Morning Prayers, all the Station Executives will be present at Morning Prayers and I wish I could be a fly on the wall.
Then I make the Tannoy message:
Crash, Crash, Crash. A Lightning aircraft has crashed in Position D6 just off the airfield; the pilot has ejected, I say again, Crash, Crash, Crash. A Lightning aircraft has crashed in Position D6, the pilot has ejected.
Crash alarm is then switched off and all you can hear is footsteps, rather loud footsteps coming up to Local....
As I look up again, I see the pilot is heading and descending in a nice direction towards the crash site. Thanks mainly to the wind, as he drifts down the up current from the explosion catches his parachute, lifts him up a little and takes him well clear of the site. The crash vehicles are thundering down to the detuners and smash through the airfield boundary fence. Give those guys an inch and no fence or gate is safe!
Crash 1 and Medic 1 are on the peri track watching Flt. Lt Lennon float down, they stop and a couple of firemen come out of Crash 1 and go to the back of Medic 1 and take out a stretcher. As they look up, Flt. Lt Lennon is slowly coming down to make contact with the ground, the secondary way. As his primary means of transport is now a smoking hulk on the other side of the airfield boundary fence.
As soon as his feet hit the deck, one of the firemen hits his parachute QRF and pushes him onto the waiting stretcher and they whisk him up. I swear his feet must have touched the ground for a maximum of 5 seconds – tops! And into the back of Medic 1 he goes. Training does pay off...
Tower - Crash 4.
Crash 4 mobile crash site.
Crash 4 Tower, expedite to crash site, clear across the active, call clear.
Tower – Crash 4 wilco.
The farmer is going to love this; it will make his year with the compensation he is going to get now and in the future...
I tell the assistant to let switchboard know, we are Airfield State Black. As all the crash crews are busy dealing with the crash. I call through to the Director and tell him the same.
The Supervisor informs me that I am to be relieved, no reason stated as to why, just I am to be relieved. Sodden little shitehawk that he is..... My relief plugs in and automatically extracts the urine out of me. “Bloody hell Bish, you have only been in local 5 minutes and you have a crash! Took me three years to have one, you jammy git”.
I explain to him what’s gone on and the actions I have taken and I ask, have I forgotten anything? No mate, came the reply, I taught you well.
So why am I being relieved then? Simple he says, you have a report to make out. Has to be done as soon as possible, so you do not forget anything - numbskull! What is all this on the desk?
I explain it’s all my notes for the log book. The Flight Sergeant says, okay write them first on a piece of paper, double check them on the desk and then fill in the log book. Cheers Mate. I start to fill in the log and the duty pilot says, “Well nothing for me to do now”! And goes back to the squadron. Feeling that things didn’t quite go quite to plan, and the end result of this display was one Lightning aircraft deposited back on the ground in a smoking hole near the detuners, unless of course this was the display?
After I filled the log book, I officially hand over the airfield and sign off the log book and I decide to have a crafty cig on the balcony before going downstairs. Needless to say I was not alone, it would appear half of air traffic were doing the same thing and getting a good view of the crash site.
Sitting down, I went through the actions I have done. Did I do it properly? Did I miss out on anything? Well, my relief said I did it by the book due to my training received from him, with that experience in the bag, I also made all the right calls. I now no longer lack experience in airfield crashes, he laughed! Sod off mate...
Next stop the SATCO’s office for a debrief on the mornings crash, not only was the SATCO in but the Deputy SATCO too. They asked me all sorts of questions, making notes and then came the crunch questions. Why did you initially call a State 3 and not a State 1? Why did you only call a Crash and not a State 1 on the tannoy? And why did you put the airfield State Black?
Oh shitonabikeinspring, I am for it! I explained that I did not call a State 1 as that implies the aircraft will or has crashed on the airfield and it did not. It crashed off the airfield Sir. I called a State 3 initially as I wanted the Crash Crews out on the airfield and in position to react immediately. I put the airfield State Black Sir, as all the Crash Crews including the Medics were dealing with the crash site and pilot. The fire tenders would be empty of water and foam and it takes four hours to replenish all the fire vehicles and we would be in not fit state to accept any diversions, as we could or would not be able to maintain the facility we are listed for! That is why I did it Sirs....
They looked at each other and burst into laughter! The little buggers, I ask, Is this a wind up or what? No it is not, they are valid questions we asked and we wanted to know your thought process behind your decisions. I was then told to set it all down and write all the events of the morning down on the official document. I then said I have a confession to make, they looked at me, yes go on... Sir, as you will be pulling the storno tape, my er um RT phraseology on the storno, prior to the crash was not standard. I explained why and with a big smile on their collective faces they let me off considering the circumstances and the obvious remarks that will be made of me later in the Mess. The SATCO also commented on my timeliness of setting off the crash alarm during morning prayers, impeccable as always!
Later on when we walked over to the Mess for lunch a few comments were made, about what caused the crash, but I didn’t know, I’m an Air Trafficker not an engineer. The best was later, walking into the dining room a collective cheer went up, aimed at my direction. Hey Bish, one down thirty four to go mate!
I bowed to my fellow SNCO’s and I muttered something along the lines of long walks of short piers and discussing the marital status of their collective mothers.
I don’t care as I am an Airfield Controller, or is that an Aerodrome Controller, or a Local Controller?